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Somedays hurt all day

Somedays hurt all day


That’s what you must be feeling right now.   How long has it been since we last talked?   Well I’ve been busy.  What about you?  The Internet works both ways you know? 


Im doing double duty these days…Supreme law clerk some days, and bottom bitch at the District Attorney’s office on others.  It’s a real title…thats what the other DA’s told me, the ones who were out behind the office smoking, and not letting me play tether-ball, and taking my lunch money.

Bottom Bitch they said…and next week they said I get promoted to BAHL Lickuh.  Im new so I still dont know what these acronyms mean, but it sounds pretty important.


Time to Relish my Awesomeness



Monday…first day of summer school.  Who was it that decided monday was the start of the week.  Monday sucks…cant life wait for Tuesday?  Does monday suck because of Monday, or does Monday suck because everyone wants to start work and school on Monday. 


School started tonight…State and Local Government and Arbitration.  Mind is kinda foggy this evening.  Got called on…survived. 


Time to pick up the pace


Wow…Its like we haven’t talked in weeks.  I miss our time together.  I want it to be like it was before finals.  I want you to laugh, I want to write.  Cant we just go back to a much simpler time?

Like when $20 was more than a full tank of gas, or when lead poisoning wasn’t something to be feared, but a right of passage.  When kids whacked it to Victoria’s Secret, and when celebrities made sex tapes that you just had to fantasize about because you were never going to see it.   

Why cant we just step back in time?  Huh?  Like when I was 30 lbs lighter and my clothes were still cool.  Oh I know it cant happen, mostly because they were never cool, but your missing the point.  I’m talking about feelings, and your laughing at my stone washed blue jeans with the button fly.  Stop it…cant you see my Hypercolor shirt is changing, because I’m sad…or because I sweat too much…anyway. 

We have a lot of catching up to do.  Things have changed. 

I’m no longer the fun loving rapscallion I once was.  I think we should use this week to get to know each other better.  A fresh start.  No lies…I’ll go first.  My name is Henry Cornelious Nectarbottom, and its a pleasure to write for you.


Time to Heal


PS Doesnt that feel good?

My Criminal Law final is tonight…last one.  Partying and posting to follow.




What is Justice?  It’s difficult to define, but easy to spot, and even easier to see where its lacking.  There are tons of cases out there that suck, and lots of people who should have gotten fat judgment checks, but instead got the shaft.

FYI If you do a search on yahoo images make sure, I mean absolutely sure you do a search with “Getting the Shaft” and NOT “Gettin the shaft.”  Its amazing the kind of nightmares you can create for yourself if you just forget the “G”. 

Louisville & Nashville Railroad Company v. Mottley, 211 U.S. 149 (1908) 

The married couple of E.L. and Annie Mottley, Seriously injured in a train collision in 1871, the Mottleys released their claims against the railroad in exchange for two lifetime railroad passes. When the federal government banned such passes in 1906, the railroad reneged on its deal, and the Mottleys sued in federal court. Their case wound up in the U.S. Supreme Court, which dismissed the case for lack of federal-question jurisdiction. So the Mottleys re-filed in Kentucky state court and won back their passes, only to wind up in the U.S. Supreme Court AGAIN.  This time, the high court ruled on the federal question (i.e., the one that wasn’t important enough to confer federal-question jurisdiction a few years prior) and decided the Mottleys couldn’t have their railroad passes after all.

World-Wide Volkswagen Corp v. Woodson, 444 U.S. 286 (1980)

Robinson family was headed from New York to Arizona in their Audi when a drunk rear-ended them at 75 MPH.  The collision started a fire in the trunk and jammed the doors shut so the wife and two kids couldnt get out.  The arthritic husband traveling in a U-Haul trailer couldnt get them out and the drunk just sat in his car watching everything unfold.  A true badass showed up and kicked holes in the windshield and pulled them all out saving their lives, but not before they were all severely disfigured from the burns.  Heres the shaft, the drunk driver didnt have insurance, so they couldnt recover any money from him, and then they went after the dealer, because of design defects in the car NOPE. Dealer got the car from a distributor, who got the car from another manufacturer, and therefore was independent and could not be sued for defects.  15 years later no justice.

Palsgraf v. Long Island Railroad Co., 162 N.E. 99 (N.Y. 1928

A man was carrying a box of fireworks when he got pushed onto the train by an employee of Long Island Railroad.  That man dropped the box on the tracks which soon exploded knocking over a big luggage scale at the other end of the train station, and onto Mrs. Helen Palsgraf.  Palsgraf was injured and tried to sue the railroad on the part of negligence from the employee.  The court said the likely hood that something like that would happen was so remote that it was unforeseeable, and therefore Palsgraf couldnt recover.

Vosburg v. Putney, 80 Wis. 523, 50 N.W. 403 (Wisc. 1891

A boy  kicked another boy in the shin in Wisconsin. The victim had a previous sledding injury there, and it hurt a lot. The judge said, the prior injury did not matter.  He recovered for the full extent of the injury from the boy who kicked him.

 Peevyhouse v. Garland Coal & Mining Co., 382 P.2d 109 (Okl.1962).

The Peevyhouses entered into a contract to permit Garland to strip mine their farm, provided that Garland would restore the land at the end of the mining. Garland didn’t do so. Held: plaintiffs were only entitled to the diminution of the market value of their land after the strip mining ($300, land in oklahoma), rather than cost of putting the land back like they had contracted for ($25,000 to relevel).  This one is just pisses me off.  If you contract for something you should get it, regardless of the cost. 

Williams v. Georgia, 349 U.S. 375 (1955):

A black guy is convicted of murder and sentenced to die in Georgia by an all-white jury selected via a method that was ruled unconstitutional earlier in Avery v. Georgia (1953). Georgia’s Supreme Court agrees that there was a constitutional defect but refuses to overturn using a shady procedural argument. The Supreme Court says that the decision was wrong and that they could overturn it, but decides to give the Georgia Supreme Court another chance to get it right. On remand, Georgia writes a 3-paragraph “F@*& you Supreme Court” opinion. Supreme Court denies a rehearing and Williams is put to death.

Moore v. Regents of the University of California (51 Cal. 3d 120; 271 Cal. Rptr. 146; 793 P.2d 479.)

 John Moore lived in Seattle and traveled to UCLA medical center when he learned that he had Hairy Cell Leukemia.  The doctors there recommended he have his spleen removed, so they could slow down the disease.  Moore returned to UCLA to have his spleen removed, and then because the doctors told him that his well-being depended on it he must continue regular visits to UCLA for blood work, and other tests.  What Moore did not know was that the doctors had discovered a new cell line in Moore and had patented the cell line.  They needed Moore’s blood and tissue to create the cells.  Moore discovered this after numerous flights from Seattle to UCLA and sued for the costs of the unnecessary trips and for the profits UCLA made on the sale of the cells.  The courts found that Moore had no property rights to his “discarded cells” and therefore no claim.  All this did was make doctors be more open about their interests in treating patients, but poor Moore got nothing.

Painter v. Bannister, 140 N.W.2d 152 (Iowa 1966).

Painter’s wife and daughter were killed in a car crash, so he made arrangements for her parents to take care of his surviving kid while he coped with the loss. A year later he had married and wanted his son back. The court found that the home of Painter would be unstable, unconventional, arty,  and Bohemian.  Painter lost custody of his child because he was a Hippie.  Dude got screwed, but I probably would have decided the same way….hippies…ugh.

United States v. Stanley, 483 U.S. 669

 Soldier was given LSD secretly and involuntary.  Stanley experienced crazy hallucinations, and flashbacks that ruined his marriage.  Stanley tried to sue the Federal Government, but the Supreme Court found that the damage was caused during his military service and he was therefore unable to recover. 

Saturday we hit it pretty hard, so sunday I assumed I was hung over.  Sunday rolled into monday, and monday rolled into tuesday, and being sick sucks.  I called in sick to work, and am not going to class this evening.  Posts will be sparse this week….sorry


“I opened the door and this Oompa-Loompa is standing there,”

An Oompa-Loompa? what ever does he mean?  OH…what he means is our guy was dressed in a Carnival Costume,  with his upper body covered in pink body paint and glitter.  He was wearing a large purple top hat, purple cape, and a purple satin shirt. 

The charge…attempted rape.

I dont want to down play the seriousness of crime, but let me list for you the inventory of this oompa-loompa.

nitrous oxide


bag full of whips,


sex toys


And In the trunk of his car they found
it was packed with hay and contained two hula hoops and another whip

Gee…wonder why this stud would have to force himself on someone?

Full article here

P.S. the story isnt exactly clear cut attempted rape…apparently the two know each other and he came over with weed and NOS and they were getting high then he got a little frisky and she ran.  Maybe his plan of getting her high then screwing her would have worked better if he didnt dress like a “trip” gone bad.

Besides…when cant you trust a guy who carries hula-hoops in his car?

Oh yeah…Time to Work

Drunk Cat

Lets talk about a dirty little secret called downplaying the role of personal responsibility.  Social host liability is an area of law that grew out of the DramshopActs.  Dramshop acts were created to hold bartenders liable to people who were injured by other people who drank too much at the bar.  Nothing has been called a dramshop for a long time, so these acts were created when people were still riding horses…totally off topic, but if you ride a horse drunk can you really do much more than just fall off and injure yourself?

I’m pretty sure, after 12 beers that I can convince my Jeep that it can beat that speeding train to the crossing.  I have a hard time believing I could do the same with a horse.  Just a thought.

back on topic…Dramshop was around for a longtime, and around the 70’s courts started extending liability to social hosts.  That means YOU.  That Superbowl Kegger you threw last weekend where Cousin Jeb accidentally stepped into the toilet while Grandma Adams was still using it, and then decided to drive home, but only got as far as your backyard.  If Jeb had managed to kill more than just the hose dolly, and the bitchin black paint on the bumper of his 84 Mustang, you’d be liable for the damage he caused.  Why?  Because you bought the booze, and didn’t cut him off when he “looked” drunk.  

Trust me…the judge does not want to hear…

“But your honor, Jeb always has a little vomit in his hair, and is always wearing those pee stained, skoal marked, boot cut levi’s.  How am I supposed to tell when he’s had too much?  It’s his trademark, and his surefire lady collector.”


California Business and Professions Code
§ 25602. Sales to drunkard or intoxicated person; offense; civil liability

(a) Every person who sells, furnishes, gives, or causes to be sold, furnished, or given away, any alcoholic beverage to any habitual or common drunkard or to any obviously intoxicated person is guilty of a misdemeanor.

(b) No person who sells, furnishes, gives, or causes to be sold, furnished, or given away, any alcoholic beverage pursuant to subdivision (a) of this section shall be civilly liable to any injured person or the estate of such person for injuries inflicted on that person as a result of intoxication by the consumer of such alcoholic beverage.

(c) The Legislature hereby declares that this section shall be interpreted so that the holdings in cases such as Vesely v. Sager (5 Cal.3d 153), Bernhard v. Harrah’s Club (16 Cal.3d 313) and Coulter v. Superior Court; be abrogated in favor of prior judicial interpretation finding the consumption of alcoholic beverages rather than the serving of alcoholic beverages as the proximate cause of injuries inflicted upon another by an intoxicated person.

Mark one up for personal responsibility, so hand that drunk bastard another beer, and remember if your gonna drink and drive, drive fast so you can get off the roads quicker.  Wait no…that sounds irresponsible let me try again… and remember if you can drink and drive then chances are you haven’t drunk enough.  I think that last one really nailed it…expect to see that in a national drunkard awareness campaign soon.


WEST NOTES BELOW (a.k.a. the boring stuff that only those opening alcoholic manufacturing establishments might find interesting.)


I had an appointment today to see my professor and talk about my Contracts final.  Guess who didn’t show?  Me….just kidding.  It was him, he’s the bastard that didn’t show.  I was there…early…well on time anyway.

Next time I see him I’ll make sure I tort his ass.  Yeah I did it…I used tort as a verb.  It does sound a little gay doesn’t it?  I’m not going to bake fruit pastries on his ass, no…it means a civil wrong. (assault, battery, intentional infliction of emotional distress, false imprisonment, etc…)  Dont take notes on this.

You can commit a tort, but you cannot tort someone.  A tort can be committed on you, but you can not be tort-ted….get the jist?  Spell-check tells me “jist” isn’t a word, but apparently this word is…

 Go on click it…you know you want to.   Click Click Click

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So Im in class again and you know the routine. 

 Lots of Jokes.  Are all of them funny? No.  Are some of them? Yeah.  Are all of them about lawyers? Yes.  Do you see the relevance here? 

Memorize them folks…when you tell me a lawyer joke in the future it better be funny, unless I fail out of law school in which case even the word lawyer will probably make me break out in tears.

But seriously, we all know that there are really only three jokes about lawyers.  The rest are true stories.

Lots of jokes after the break.

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