Cry With Me….Adventures in Law School

Yes, its that time once again.  The task rests heavily upon my shoulders.  I accept it.  I embrace it.  I am cleaning up the whores of the internet. 

PS These might seem a little rushed, they are.  I feel so behind.  Lets face it though.  After a dry spell, quality becomes less important, and quantity starts to look pretty good.  Heck, after a six pack this post will be pretty funny, just make sure you turn off your computer before you go to bed.  I cant even imagine waking up to these posts in the morning.

Time to Settle

Well it would seem all is not well in Hollywood this evening.  If you recall from the post earlier Mr. Hollywood was attempting to recuse the prosecuting D.A. and the entire District Attorney’s office because they had handed over mountains of confidential information to the directors of Alpha Dog.  Well the Supreme Court in its opinion Tuesday decided that to recuse    

A defendant must identify, and a court must find, some conflict of interest that renders it unlikely defendant will receive a fair trial. The trial court found no such conflict.

 and in Hollywood’s case that means the murder trial is back on.  The brief for those interested can be found here.

My Criminal Law final is tonight…last one.  Partying and posting to follow.

Promise.

Last Monday was a sad day.  One of my best friends passed away.  I created this montage for him.

Luckily I was in his will, and the insurance company cut me a $5000 check. 

PS now taking applications for new best friends.

Time to Interview

Well the Ole Jeep has managed too get into another fight.  This time it got sucker punched on the 210 freeway.  We were just on our way to work when WHAM!!! out of nowhere, some little purple PT Cruiser hit us from behind.  I guess the gay jokes were just too persistant, and the little PT cruiser had had enough.

Anyway the car’s in a bad way, and today Im sore like I got passed around Cell Block C.  Im beginning to think the car is cursed, so Im going to look seriously into that Old Lady car.

Time to Ache

No this post has nothing to do with the Olympic torch, or the protests.  This is about a police officer wearing rollerblades.  Only in France, do cops roll around and fight crime. 

 I use the word “fight” casually.  More like “scratch and pull the hair of” crime.  You know what they say…The hardest part about rollerblading is telling your parents your gay.

Need more proof?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lUJzHRYSXbE

 

(having trouble with imbedded video…whatever wordpress, whatever)

FLAMING NEW UPDATE…STILL HOT!!! The video is working
Time to move

In honor of our impending trip to Georgia I thought I would cover some southern culture, and why their culture doesnt translate well to California.

Frog Gigging

People in the South like to eat frogs, but not at a snooty french restaurant…no.  Fresh is the only way to eat bullfrogs…apparently.  You get your “Gig” and your frog sack, and you wade around the swamp and spear as many frogs as you can.  This is all done at night of course, because the idea of that guy coming out of a swamp with a spear and a sack of frogs isnt quite creepy enough as is, but PRESTO if you add the cover of darkness why he’s down right spooky. 

Then you have to skin them, and judging by this picture there seems to be a special tool involved.

 In California, unlike Georgia this isnt exactly a condoned practice, and is in fact mentioned specifically.

CALIFORNIA CODES
FISH AND GAME CODE
SECTION 6880-6885

6883.  Any person may possess any number of live frogs to use in
frog-jumping contests, but if such a frog dies or is killed, it must
be destroyed as soon as possible, and may not be eaten or otherwise
used for any purpose.

Figures right?  Well did you know that taking frogs by firearm is actually illegal?  I dont think they mean forcing frogs into cages by gunpoint, but thats kinda what I got from the statute.

6854.  It is unlawful to take frogs by the use of firearms of any
caliber or type

I was told once that the lawmower “took” my pet rabbit Jumpers to heaven.  Everything worked out just fine, until I thought it would be a good idea to give Jumpers a playmate in heaven.  I wasnt allowed near the lawnmower for years, and the neighbors never really looked at me the same.

Time to Move on

Well it would seem the Classic is in Redlands again.  You know what that means right?  All the hot, wind worn, sun aged, muscular hotties you could ever hope for.  Let me tell you, if I wasn’t married I’d clean up at that place….RAWWWR.  The rear ends on these ladies is about as titillating as the shoulders on a swimmer, or the boobs on a body builder.

Speaking of Bicycles…California gives you a statutory right to carry your bicycle, which is weird, because you should probably just ride it…ponder that.

CALIFORNIA CODES
CIVIL CODE
SECTION 2180-2191

2180. A common carrier of persons, unless his vehicle is fitted for
the reception of persons exclusively, must receive and carry a
reasonable amount of baggage for each passenger without charge,
except for an excess of weight over one hundred pounds to a
passenger; if such carrier is a proprietor of a stage line, he need
not receive and carry for each passenger by such stage line, without
charge, more than sixty pounds of baggage.

 2181.  Luggage may consist of whatever the passenger takes with him
for his personal use and convenience, according to the habits or
wants of the particular class to which he belongs, either with
reference to the important necessities or to the ultimate purposes of
his journey.  Luggage within the meaning of this section shall
include the samples, case, wares, appliances and catalogs of
commercial travelers or their employers, used by them for the purpose
of transacting their business and carried with them solely for that
purpose, when securely packed and locked in substantial trunks or
sample cases of convenient shape and weight for handling.  No crate
cover or other protection shall be required for any bicycle carried
as luggage, but no passenger shall be entitled to carry as luggage
more than one bicycle.

Imagine having to sit next to that guy…”Sir would you like to stow your bicycle?”,  ”No I think I’ll just keep it in my lap.”  At least they wont let him carry two…thank god for the power of democracy.

Bicycles should be restricted to circus bears because that is awesome…fact.

Time to Cycle

At Starbucks, not much, but clearly “what’s Crackin” at Starbucks are some of the customers.  I just watched a guy try to boil the skin off his finger by repeatedly sticking it into boiling hot coffee.  Now I know he doesnt have congenital insensitivity to pain with anhidrosis, or CIPA because everytime he dunked his finger he kinda screamed to himself.

What happened to the times when “Whats Crackin?” was a greeting intended to facilitate a response of general current occurrences, or what was currently going on the persons life.  Now when you ask “Whats Crackin?” most people just point at someone.  Never at me though…Crack, sir is beneath me.  I prefer to huff deck stain, but I only huff responsibly.

Would you believe crackin isnt referred to once in any of the California Codes.  And crack is only used once in reference to drugs.

California Government Code

15029.  (a) The Crack Down Task Force Program is hereby created
within the Department of Justice with responsibility for
establishing, conducting, supporting, and coordinating crack down
task forces composed of state and local law enforcement agencies
targeting the investigation and apprehension of the Colombian
cartel-street gang cocaine networks.

Look at that…A double entente.  Why it would seem the state has a sense of humor.  I got one of my.  I broke a g string while fingering a minor.  Whats that?  A guitar?…OH yeah! thats what it means.  Guitar….yeeeesss.

Time to Study

P.S. It always seems references to drugs boasts my readership….what arent you people telling me?

Tuesday, I needed new heads for some of my collectibles, so I headed to downtown Los Angeles to the Toy District.  As I was walking down Spring street I found myself standing in a line to get into the above building.  The line was moving pretty fast so I was excited to be a part of it.   Anyway turns out the California Supreme Court was hearing Oral Arguments on the Jesse James Hollywood case that day.  They made a movie about it, Alpha Dog.  I havent seen it, but I do have one of those Big Dog shirts…anyway

There I was a law student, there they were the California Supreme Court, and there he was the taco man outside.  It was like a divine moment, or perfect convergence if you will. 

So I started talking to the guy in front of me

 It was Hollywood’s dad in front of me in line.  We talked.  I had no idea who he was until he told me.  I quickly covered up my “KILL HOLLYWOOD” shirt, but he was pretty pissed about the Alpha Dog movie. 

Turns out he was a paid consultant for the movie…so maybe he wasnt that pissed about the movie.

The Defense for Hollywood (which by the way was much better than the prosecutors office) is trying to have all of the Santa Barbra District Attorneys office recused, or removed from the case for helping to make the movie.  There wont be a decision for months, but I’ll keep you informed.